We do a lot of living in a semester

We're coming round the homestretch. Just a week of finals and then home! I still have finals, but I feel as if all the really stressful things are over. The written aural skills final and my group fugue presentation both went well, and I felt as if my jury was a success. I still haven't gotten my jury sheet back, though, so I don't actually know my grade for that. So just a little while longer at we're gone. And then we come back to do it all again.

I can't wait to see you all at home! I've missed you all so terribly. I'm sorry I'm not always the best at communicating, especially via the blog (a tendency I'm striving to remedy!), but I want you to know I love you guys and miss you and pray for you.

I was realizing this afternoon as I sat in my friend's junior percussion recital, that I'm practically done. Ok, not really. But the time goes so fast. At the beginning of freshman year, Mrs. Porter (chair of the music dept.) told us that we only really had 120 weeks of school to learn everything we needed to learn from here. I pray that God enables me to make the most of it, academically, musically, relationally, and most of all, spiritually. When the seniors told me that it goes by fast, I didn't believe them. But now I see what they meant. And I also see how much happens in just a short time. Dad calls college a pressure cooker, because everything is intensified.

I praise God that I am able to go to a school where the president sits and reads the student body children's Christmas books, where the faculty invest heavily in their students personally, spiritually, and academically, and where there exists a rare phenomenon of a music department full of people who love, encourage, and look out for one another. At many schools or conservatories with comparable music programs, it isn't uncommon for one violinist to try to trip another so she'll break her arm and be unable to play, or for one vocalist to play mind games with another to psych him out in a vocal competition.

Well, it's 1:30 in the morning. And I should be in bed. Thanks for listening to my ramblings. Soli Deo Gloria. I'll see you at home.

As a Ransom for Many

The pastor of the church I’ve been attending here at school said this morning that “The world has the right to look at us and how we love each other and how we love them and see Jesus.” Well, do they?

Nope. Not in my life. I spend much more of my time fretting about my relationships with my friends. Does this person really wants me around or are they’re just being nice? Did what I just said sound completely dweebish? Which set of friends I should hang out with on Friday night? But here’s what my focus should be. How can I serve them? Can they see You in the way I treat them? If I can learn to think this way, then I will start really being a friend.

In the same way, we as Christians get the opportunity to live our lives in imitation of Christ, no? So, if “even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life a ransom for many” (Mark 10:45), isn’t that my mission as well? Would it not be my honor if I were allowed to shed my blood in service to my friends? I’m not sure on this. I’d appreciate your input. It seems logical and Scripturally supported, but I’m very willing to be wrong!

I am not saying that I want to be crucified. I’m not saying that I think my “righteousness” such as it is can save my friends. I’m not trying to actually be Christ. But I think that I am to dedicate my life to Him in such a way that I have a similar ministry, one in which my life, my desires, my goals, are forfeit to His. And in this forfeit, I lose nothing but the trash I think precious. His goal for me is to be like Him. And a huge part of that is service, pouring out my lifeblood to fight for souls and heal hearts and bodies. The death I am privileged to die may not be a death of body, but it will certainly be the chance to die to Me as often as necessary.

So, what am I waiting for?

I’m scared. But I’m praying. Something must be done. It would be so easy for me to get a good job, find a nice boy, and settle down to satisfy myself in what I think I want. And maybe those things are part of what God has for me. But must not the real heart of my life be serving Him, being a vessel for His work in the world? Lord, may I never numb my conscience. How could I use these great blessings only on myself? No! I am one of the richest people in the world. And I will answer to God for how I’ve used it. Father, help me to possess nothing, as Tozer puts it. Thank You for the great blessings you’ve given me. A beautiful, safe, healthy home in a gorgeous part of the world. A wonderful family who love You. All the people who make my life beautiful by being in it. Food in plenty and health in abundance. The chance to go to a top-of-the-line school. And so many of the little wants! But Father, let these things never possess me, nor I them. They are Yours, and if You want them back, please take them. Align our hearts. Make me wholly Yours.

Vocal Arts Ensemble

Just a quick note to let you all know that I auditioned for a chamber group here at CU called the Vocal Arts Ensemble. Members of the Concert Chorale are eligible to audition for this eight-person (four men, four women; two voices to a part--i.e. two sopranos, two altos...) group that sings everything from Renaissance to the Beatles a la Carribbean to modern classical composers.
And I got in! Praise the Lord! I'm the Alto 2 (the one who sings the lowest when the altos split), and I'm very excited! Just wanted to let you all know! I love you guys!

I should be in bed

But I'm obviously not! So I thought I would like to talk to y'all instead!

Summer's end. It's been a wonderful summer. It wasn't hard to be back home, except for missing my friends at school. But it's hard to be at school for missing my friends and dear ones here, so ya know, it's kinda half a dozen of one and six of the other. I can't believe it's already almost time for me to head back to school. This having-two-lives thing gets a bit difficult. It's nice that this time, I'm leaving for something I know and people I love, instead of leaving all the people I love to go to somewhere completely unknown. But I have to admit I'm a bit apprehensive about this next year.

It's not fun to look back at all the mistakes I made last year and know that I'll have a brand-new chance at making all new ones. Oh, goody. But that's rooted in a kind of thinking that says, "Don't let them know that you make mistakes; don't let them know you're just human too. They might not love you anyway. So don't let them see you fall and make a fool of yourself." But after nineteen years of trying it, I can tell you that it's no way to live. It's true, some of them might not love me anyway, when I mess up and hurt someone or make the wrong choice. But God does. Always. And in the end, I won't stand before a panel of my peers to account for my life. I'll stand before Him.

So often I try to make my expectations higher than His, expecting myself to be perfect already, when He knows I won't be perfect till I'm dead or He comes back to get me. And though He knows I have messed up, am messing up, and will continue to mess up, He loves me anyway. And so do a whole lot of other people. If you're reading this, that's probably a sign you're one of them. I want to thank you for looking past the mistakes and loving me like Jesus does. That is a precious gift I do not want to take for granted.

So here's to a brave new year, where God is on His throne, and the management of the world is up to Him instead of me. Here's to a year devoted to learning to submit my will to His. Here's to living without being afraid, for no other reason than that He is with me. I don't need any other reasons to help me be brave; that's the only one He chose to give. L'chaim! To life!

Ready? Set. Go!

...to bed. ;-)

Brandy

I am currently in love with Looking Glass' "Brandy." It's a great song. It's one of those tragic ones that would be awful in real life, but makes a wonderful (and even cheery) song!
Here's a link for it:

http://www.brown.edu/Students/Bear_Necessities/oneluv/brandy.mp3


I love you all to pieces.
Lisa

Of Chocolate, Gastroenteritis, and Gilmore Girls

So, I was going to spend Easter break with five of my friends in Tennessee. But I didn't. I was really tired, and therefore crying profusely for no apparent reason. What can I say? It's apparently the way I cope with stress and fatigue. It's rather inconvenient...

Anyway, for the good of the order (and my sanity) I chose to remain on campus for break. It was actually really nice. The campus is really quiet, which means there's hardly any lines in Chuck's (the cafeteria)! For two days, I holed up in my room (only emerging for meals and a brief trip to WalMart), ate copious amounts of chocolate, and watched the first season of Gilmore Girls. Hadn't ever seen it before. It was pretty good. I hear it goes downhill from here.

One of the five girls with whom I was going to Tennessee wasn't able to go either, because the day before break began she had been taken to the hospital and diagnosed with gastroenteritis (stomach flu). For the first day of break she was confined to her room, and I brought her food from Chuck's. Poor girl. But the next day, she was well enough to eat in Chuck's and we made a run to WalMart in a friend's car. She seems to be fine now, praise God. So we hung out together all of the weekend that I didn't lock myself away in my room, and watched some chick flicks.

All things considered, it was a lovely Easter break, even if it was rather unconventional. We're still off today, and I'm going to use it to get some work out of the way. Well, at least until the Posse gets home from Tennessee. Then there will be no working for a very long time... :)

Hey, guys! Remember me?

So...
I haven't written in forever, huh?
Well, I'm writing now. Forgive me?
Thanks.

I've almost finished my first year at school. Wow. I can't believe how far God's brought me. Right now I'm sitting in my cousins' front room with my good friend Emilie, just chilling and soaking up the relaxation. Now, I did work this break, but I've decided that I've done enough. There's no point in working all through your break and being almost as tired when you get back as when you left. So, I've done enough work to be a bit ahead when I get back, and I'm stopping.

Isn't it interesting how it takes more discipline to rest than it does to work? Praise God for His patience and sense of humor!

Voice is going very well, and I'm enjoying the rest of my classes as well. The semester will be over before I know it, and then I'll be back home for the summer. I'm looking forward to seeing those of you who live in WA. I miss you all very much!

I'm not quite sure what else to write. Life is good, God blesses me beyond belief, and I'm going to enjoy the rest of my break to the hilt!