We're coming round the homestretch. Just a week of finals and then home! I still have finals, but I feel as if all the really stressful things are over. The written aural skills final and my group fugue presentation both went well, and I felt as if my jury was a success. I still haven't gotten my jury sheet back, though, so I don't actually know my grade for that. So just a little while longer at we're gone. And then we come back to do it all again.
I can't wait to see you all at home! I've missed you all so terribly. I'm sorry I'm not always the best at communicating, especially via the blog (a tendency I'm striving to remedy!), but I want you to know I love you guys and miss you and pray for you.
I was realizing this afternoon as I sat in my friend's junior percussion recital, that I'm practically done. Ok, not really. But the time goes so fast. At the beginning of freshman year, Mrs. Porter (chair of the music dept.) told us that we only really had 120 weeks of school to learn everything we needed to learn from here. I pray that God enables me to make the most of it, academically, musically, relationally, and most of all, spiritually. When the seniors told me that it goes by fast, I didn't believe them. But now I see what they meant. And I also see how much happens in just a short time. Dad calls college a pressure cooker, because everything is intensified.
I praise God that I am able to go to a school where the president sits and reads the student body children's Christmas books, where the faculty invest heavily in their students personally, spiritually, and academically, and where there exists a rare phenomenon of a music department full of people who love, encourage, and look out for one another. At many schools or conservatories with comparable music programs, it isn't uncommon for one violinist to try to trip another so she'll break her arm and be unable to play, or for one vocalist to play mind games with another to psych him out in a vocal competition.
Well, it's 1:30 in the morning. And I should be in bed. Thanks for listening to my ramblings. Soli Deo Gloria. I'll see you at home.
Saturday, December 6, 2008
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
As a Ransom for Many
The pastor of the church I’ve been attending here at school said this morning that “The world has the right to look at us and how we love each other and how we love them and see Jesus.” Well, do they?
Nope. Not in my life. I spend much more of my time fretting about my relationships with my friends. Does this person really wants me around or are they’re just being nice? Did what I just said sound completely dweebish? Which set of friends I should hang out with on Friday night? But here’s what my focus should be. How can I serve them? Can they see You in the way I treat them? If I can learn to think this way, then I will start really being a friend.
In the same way, we as Christians get the opportunity to live our lives in imitation of Christ, no? So, if “even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life a ransom for many” (Mark 10:45), isn’t that my mission as well? Would it not be my honor if I were allowed to shed my blood in service to my friends? I’m not sure on this. I’d appreciate your input. It seems logical and Scripturally supported, but I’m very willing to be wrong!
I am not saying that I want to be crucified. I’m not saying that I think my “righteousness” such as it is can save my friends. I’m not trying to actually be Christ. But I think that I am to dedicate my life to Him in such a way that I have a similar ministry, one in which my life, my desires, my goals, are forfeit to His. And in this forfeit, I lose nothing but the trash I think precious. His goal for me is to be like Him. And a huge part of that is service, pouring out my lifeblood to fight for souls and heal hearts and bodies. The death I am privileged to die may not be a death of body, but it will certainly be the chance to die to Me as often as necessary.
So, what am I waiting for?
I’m scared. But I’m praying. Something must be done. It would be so easy for me to get a good job, find a nice boy, and settle down to satisfy myself in what I think I want. And maybe those things are part of what God has for me. But must not the real heart of my life be serving Him, being a vessel for His work in the world? Lord, may I never numb my conscience. How could I use these great blessings only on myself? No! I am one of the richest people in the world. And I will answer to God for how I’ve used it. Father, help me to possess nothing, as Tozer puts it. Thank You for the great blessings you’ve given me. A beautiful, safe, healthy home in a gorgeous part of the world. A wonderful family who love You. All the people who make my life beautiful by being in it. Food in plenty and health in abundance. The chance to go to a top-of-the-line school. And so many of the little wants! But Father, let these things never possess me, nor I them. They are Yours, and if You want them back, please take them. Align our hearts. Make me wholly Yours.
Nope. Not in my life. I spend much more of my time fretting about my relationships with my friends. Does this person really wants me around or are they’re just being nice? Did what I just said sound completely dweebish? Which set of friends I should hang out with on Friday night? But here’s what my focus should be. How can I serve them? Can they see You in the way I treat them? If I can learn to think this way, then I will start really being a friend.
In the same way, we as Christians get the opportunity to live our lives in imitation of Christ, no? So, if “even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life a ransom for many” (Mark 10:45), isn’t that my mission as well? Would it not be my honor if I were allowed to shed my blood in service to my friends? I’m not sure on this. I’d appreciate your input. It seems logical and Scripturally supported, but I’m very willing to be wrong!
I am not saying that I want to be crucified. I’m not saying that I think my “righteousness” such as it is can save my friends. I’m not trying to actually be Christ. But I think that I am to dedicate my life to Him in such a way that I have a similar ministry, one in which my life, my desires, my goals, are forfeit to His. And in this forfeit, I lose nothing but the trash I think precious. His goal for me is to be like Him. And a huge part of that is service, pouring out my lifeblood to fight for souls and heal hearts and bodies. The death I am privileged to die may not be a death of body, but it will certainly be the chance to die to Me as often as necessary.
So, what am I waiting for?
I’m scared. But I’m praying. Something must be done. It would be so easy for me to get a good job, find a nice boy, and settle down to satisfy myself in what I think I want. And maybe those things are part of what God has for me. But must not the real heart of my life be serving Him, being a vessel for His work in the world? Lord, may I never numb my conscience. How could I use these great blessings only on myself? No! I am one of the richest people in the world. And I will answer to God for how I’ve used it. Father, help me to possess nothing, as Tozer puts it. Thank You for the great blessings you’ve given me. A beautiful, safe, healthy home in a gorgeous part of the world. A wonderful family who love You. All the people who make my life beautiful by being in it. Food in plenty and health in abundance. The chance to go to a top-of-the-line school. And so many of the little wants! But Father, let these things never possess me, nor I them. They are Yours, and if You want them back, please take them. Align our hearts. Make me wholly Yours.
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