I should be in bed

But I'm obviously not! So I thought I would like to talk to y'all instead!

Summer's end. It's been a wonderful summer. It wasn't hard to be back home, except for missing my friends at school. But it's hard to be at school for missing my friends and dear ones here, so ya know, it's kinda half a dozen of one and six of the other. I can't believe it's already almost time for me to head back to school. This having-two-lives thing gets a bit difficult. It's nice that this time, I'm leaving for something I know and people I love, instead of leaving all the people I love to go to somewhere completely unknown. But I have to admit I'm a bit apprehensive about this next year.

It's not fun to look back at all the mistakes I made last year and know that I'll have a brand-new chance at making all new ones. Oh, goody. But that's rooted in a kind of thinking that says, "Don't let them know that you make mistakes; don't let them know you're just human too. They might not love you anyway. So don't let them see you fall and make a fool of yourself." But after nineteen years of trying it, I can tell you that it's no way to live. It's true, some of them might not love me anyway, when I mess up and hurt someone or make the wrong choice. But God does. Always. And in the end, I won't stand before a panel of my peers to account for my life. I'll stand before Him.

So often I try to make my expectations higher than His, expecting myself to be perfect already, when He knows I won't be perfect till I'm dead or He comes back to get me. And though He knows I have messed up, am messing up, and will continue to mess up, He loves me anyway. And so do a whole lot of other people. If you're reading this, that's probably a sign you're one of them. I want to thank you for looking past the mistakes and loving me like Jesus does. That is a precious gift I do not want to take for granted.

So here's to a brave new year, where God is on His throne, and the management of the world is up to Him instead of me. Here's to a year devoted to learning to submit my will to His. Here's to living without being afraid, for no other reason than that He is with me. I don't need any other reasons to help me be brave; that's the only one He chose to give. L'chaim! To life!

Ready? Set. Go!

...to bed. ;-)